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I knew this day would come eventually, but it stil

I knew this day would come eventually, but it still broke my heart.

A few days ago, my big girls lied for the very first time.

As a Christian & teacher who is fully aware of children's developmental stages and the fact that we are all inherently sinful beings, I knew this day would come.

But as a mum, I was heartbroken.

For 40 min, they denied it and tried to pin it onto their 15 mo sister.

And this was after countless repetitions of how I wasn't angry with them over the initial incident.

But the fact that they weren't being truthful and they weren't being brave about telling the truth and taking responsibility for their actions.

For 40 min, I tried a bunch of different strategies.

I counselled, I coached, I talked about right vs wrong, I talked about God, I talked about honesty, bravery, responsibility and everything in between.

But near the end of that time, I broke.

With no confession, no honest and brave kids in sight, I felt like an utter failure as a mum.

My identity was totally wrapped up in me doing my best to raise "good" kids and when they weren't being "good" and weren’t open to correction, I felt like it was me that had failed big time, not them.

And so I lost it.

I shouted at them and yelled my disappointment.

I threatened to smack.

I threatened to throw them out of my house 😭 if they didn't confess.

Now I'm honestly not proud at how I handled the situation.

I wish I'd done things differently.

I wish that I'd communicated more of my unconditional love even when they mess up.

And even after an extended time of debriefing with the hubs later that night, I still don't know what else I could have done in the moment and what I would do differently in the future, specifically if I should keep pressing for a confession or not, but that's not the point I want to make here.

The reason I share all this.. Is because in the last couple of days, after heaps of reflection and prayer

I had a couple of revelations about motherhood

And I thought I'd share it here in the hope that it could encourage you even a little on this crazy journey of parenting that we are on.

Swipe to see my 10 revelations and let me know if any resonates with you ❤️

When can children start to play independently? If

When can children start to play independently?

If you ask me, my answer would be from birth 🙂 Because independent play does not mean children play in a space alone without any adult present.

It means children can engage in and direct their own play without any adult interaction.

It means us stepping back to give them the time and space to explore, discover, experiment, investigate and be curious of their own accord.

It means us NOT having the mindset that we know better what their time playing is better spent on.

I believe THE REAL QUESTION should instead be -

Are we giving them the OPPORTUNITIES to engage in independent play?

Or are we playing FOR them?

Dismissing or downplaying their interests?

Distracting them with questions with the intention to test?

Directing their attention towards something more worthy of pursuit?

Let’s hear your thoughts! I love a good conversation or debate!👇🏼☺️

• Why Self-Directed Play is So Important • Wh

• Why Self-Directed Play is So Important •

When children are engaged in self-directed play, they develop their autonomy and their sense of agency.

This means that they begin to see that they have CONTROL over their environment and that they can MAKE DECISIONS on things that directly and indirectly affect them.

In other words, they have CHOICES.

This leads to them developing their IDENTITY, their sense of self and who they are as unique individuals.

They begin to see that they are COMPETENT and CAPABLE.
They are CONFIDENT in their own abilities.

When faced with setbacks and challenges, they see themselves as ABLE to find solutions if they PERSIST.

As a result, they become OPEN to new challenges and making new discoveries.

They have more opportunities to experience and CELEBRATE successes and achievements that are a direct result of their own actions.

This leads to them choosing to engage in MORE SELF-DIRECTED PLAY because it further validates their growing sense of self and confidence.

There is often not much being said about the importance of soft skills like perseverance, resilience, confidence and problem-solving in favour of focusing on hard skills like reading, writing and numeracy.

Yet the truth of the matter is it is in the development of these crucical soft skills that the hard skills are eventually and inevitably acquired.

#LearningThroughPlay is not sneaking in or hiding the teaching of literacy and numeracy concepts through activities and “play”

Rather it’s recognising that when children engage in self-directed play, the learning “just happens” because play IS learning.

You might find this hard to believe. But I am bor

You might find this hard to believe.

But I am borderline introverted (50/50). I know I know 🙈 if you watch me teach LIVE masterclasses, in-person workshops, or even just when I do IG stories or IG lives, you’ll probably go “You are NOT an introvert!” “You have too much energy” 🤣

Whilst that is true, I am honestly one of those sitting right smack in the middle and I have tendencies for both personality traits. Which usually means that after a big event or project like the most recent PPA enrolment where I’m constantly talking to people, I just need to withdraw into my own little corner and just BE with me, myself and my own thoughts.

This is also true in my day to day life of being a mama to 3 little girls who are constantly chatting and in my face and on my body #ALLTHELIVELONGDAY

And because I know this about myself, the fact that I need to recharge, I know that at some point in the day after giving giving giving and talking talking talking, I just NEED to withdraw and not talk. I NEED to not have to engage with any of my children and just have the time and space to be by myself, even if it’s only for 10 minutes, sitting in the same space as my child, her sisters napping, she playing independently and me folding laundry haha. #YouTakeWhatYouCanGet

She did ask me if I could play with her and I said I will play with her IN 10 MIN (I asked her to watch the clock and tell me when 10 min was up)

I am not going to feel guilty about NOT wanting to engage with her.
I am not going to feel guilty about NOT wanting to talk to her.
I am not going to feel guilty about wanting 10 minutes for myself.

I NEED this personal time for ME, and for THEM, so that I can show up BETTER for them in the rest of our time together.

If you’re anything like me and need some “alone” or quiet time in the day to recharge, please don’t feel guilty that you have to say no to your children at times to say yes to yourself.

Saying no to them doesn’t make you a bad mum.
Saying yes to yourself while they are around doesn’t make you a bad mum.

If anything, it makes you a better mum, because you are INTENTIONAL about creating boundaries to ensure you can continue to give ❤️

If you’ve been following me for longer than 3 mi

If you’ve been following me for longer than 3 minutes, you’d know that I’m a firm believer in the importance of setting up a space that would encourage children to play creatively and independently, and knowing the role YOU play in helping them to engage more meaningfully in their play.

It’s NOT about setting up more activities to ENTERTAIN your children.

It’s NOT about keeping them occupied, less bored, out of trouble or DISTRACTING them from bouncing off walls.

Rather, it’s about levaging the benefits of having A PREPARED SPACE so children feel the magnetic pull of engaging in meaningful play.

It’s about giving them the gift of experiencing the JOY of self-discovery and self-directed play.

The gift of experiencing the WONDERS of learning through play in a meaningful and authentic way.

This weekend, I’ve put together an incredible BUNDLE of 4 of my best and upcoming resources to help you set up the environment and clearly know your role in helping your children to engage in play.

1) The Comprehensive Guide to Raising Creativity Kids through Having a Home Art Space (ebook)
2) 31 Invitations to Create (ebook)
3) The Art of the Invitation (ebook)
4) Authentic Learning (online workshop on 26 Mar)

I created these resources for the parents who desire to create a more playful, open, safe and imaginative environment for their kids’ CREATIVITY and INDEPENDENCE to flourish and help them LEARN in the process.

THIS WEEKEND ONLY, get ALL 4 resources for over 50% off!! Link in bio 🙂 p.s. share the love and let a friend know!!

One of the BIGGEST myths about play is that “Pla

One of the BIGGEST myths about play is that “Play is a child’s work” and so given a bunch of toys or activities, they should just happily go play for hours no?
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“I feel crazy thinking that it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d have to teach him how to play with these items despite teaching him everything else like brushing teeth and dressing. Mad that I just thought he’d see them and know what to do.” (DM I received).
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“This idea of my role in playing with my child, it was like a breath of fresh air, as the common knowledge was - let them get bored and they’d start playing on their own. But that didn’t work with my child. She would just end up playing in non-constructive ways. When I spend time with her, she learns, she takes what she wants from that and she is much more engaged after. Thanks for sharing that insight Jules!” (DM I received)

THE TRUTH IS while play is a child’s work, play is also a LEARNED SKILL and is dependent on the amount of experiences and exposure given to children.

For example, all children can and will learn how to talk and walk in their own time. You cannot rush it. You cannot force it. But, it’s often the case that a child learns to walk or talk because a loving parent is there holding their hands and supporting them to take the first few steps or repeatedly encouraging them to say “ma ma, can you say ma ma?”
.
Doors to PPA are closing at midnight tonight!! I’d love to show you how you can clearly understand the role YOU play in your child’s play and how to help them LEARN and engage in SUSTAINED SELF-DIRECTED play.

Click on the link in bio to sign up now :)

So my husband Dan and I recently did something we'

So my husband Dan and I recently did something we've never done before!

We went LIVE together and I interviewed him!! Mums often reach out to me saying "I love the things you share about play, but my husband/partner is NOT on board" "My husband hates messy play" "My partner doesn't want the living room to be cluttered with toys"

And so, Dan kindly came on LIVE with me and shared his perspective 🙂 The first thing he said was "I don't like it too!" But then he continued, "But I know it's beneficial for the kids and that's what I'm gonna go with!" Throughout the LIVE, he also shared many more of his honest perspectives, some of which I laughed at, some of which I was shocked at!

But the biggest GEM of the night has got to be this story he told at the end where he shared a recent encounter he had with a friend.

His friend asked "You guys have 3 kids, how do you make sure you're not SCREWING UP your kids?" And my amazing husband's response? "When you ask that question, you are coming from a very defensive mentality. Instead of preventing the worst, as parents, shouldn't our hearts be to help our children BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE and reach their fullest potential? We should adopt a WINNING mentality!"
#HeIsSoWIse #CantBelieveIMarriedHim

I just absolutely love what he said and I can't agree more!!
That IS the parent heart isn't it??
To give our children the best
To give them the best version of us
To help them BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE and step into their fullest potential

And that is really my heart behind my program Playful Parent Academy

I want to help you give your children the very best!

I want them to experience THE JOY of being able to engage in SUSTAINED SELF-DIRECTED play!

I want them to experience THE WONDERS of learning through play in such an AUTHENTIC & meaningful way

And for you mama, I want you to experience the most ABUNDANT & FULFILLING motherhood you can possible have!! Because these little years go by so quick and our children are such incredible sponges during these formative years.

Doors to PPA close Mon 3 Feb 11.59pm AWST friend! Link to sign up is in my bio. I can’t wait to welcome you & walk this journey of playful parenting with you!☺

Can I be real for a minute? You may or may not be

Did you know that how a toy, activity or experienc

Did you know that how a toy, activity or experience is presented... matters?

I call it the art of the invitation.

To put it simply, it is essentially a way of offering activities and materials to children in an inviting way.

Because it determines whether children notice an activity in the first place.

It determines whether their interests are piqued and therefore whether they want to engage with a particular setup.

It determines whether they actually see the limitless possibilities of open-ended toys and whether their imaginations are sparked.

Now just a note that inviting does not mean an elaborate set up.

It’s simply a way to ENTICE them to engage in play, by either using a prompt that’s related to their current interests, or setting up activities in a way that’s new, interesting or in a way that they’ve never been exposed to before and leaving it for them to discover or chance upon which they often do.

It does not have to be fancy.

In fact, the simpler the better.

Children often derive the most fun from the PROCESS of creating their play from a simple prompt, rather than a fully decked out play scene that you have spent 20 minutes creating for them.

Keep the set up really simple and minimal with a scene that’s rather open-ended to allow children to create their own storyline and add props to it as they wish.

I’ll be sharing so much more of my secrets on how to get children to ENGAGE in play, and how to get them playing independently for longer during my free masterclass on Thurs!

Almost 1000 of you have signed up already and I can’t wait to hang out with you guys in the class! It’s still not too late to join us and if you’re interested, the link to sign up is in my bio. See you there! ❤️

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